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Lowell Cohn: Dennis Allen can't be serious

  • Dennis Allen yells to his team during their game against Philadelphia in Oakland on Sunday, November 3, 2013. (Christopher Chung / THE PRESS DEMOCRAT)

OAKLAND - Questions I wanted to ask Raiders coach Dennis Allen after his team got murdered by Philadelphia 49-20. I was held back by a sense of decorum:

What the hell?

Coach, are you kidding me?

Oakland Raiders vs. Philadelphia Eagles


You actually had a week to prep for this monstrosity?

We're supposed to take you seriously?

But as I say, there is an after-bloodbath decorum which I observed.

I mean, lots of people, me included, were saying the Raiders have playoff potential. Well, that's out the window now, out the window and in the gutter after some quarterback named Nick Foles, the backup to Michael Vick, threw seven touchdowns, tying the NFL record, and got a passer rating of, get this. 158.3, which is pure perfection.

Note: If a quarterback wants to throw a perfect game, play the Raiders.

But I am not here to praise Nick Foles. I am here to talk about Dennis Allen who is known as a defensive coach, someone who allegedly imbued his players with the know-how to stop the other guys. Really?

When the teams came out for the second half with the Raiders merely trailing 28-13, the Eagles scored touchdowns in consecutive drives in 46 seconds, then in 51 seconds. I almost hyperventilated from the sheer speed of it all. I bet you did, too. After punting on their next possession, the Eagles scored a touchdown in a minute and 18 seconds, still rapid but slower than the first two drives — maybe they were getting tired from all that running away from Raiders' defenders.

One imagines Allen at halftime making the necessary defensive adjustments and firing up his team. Actually, one does not imagine Allen doing any of that. The second-half results don't indicate fire, not even a puny flame to cook one measly marshmallow.

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