Mostly sunny

Last hours to vote for the Best of Sonoma County finalists! Don't miss out!

Family details Santa Rosa couple's rocky relationship

  • Santa Rosa police investigate a homicide Wednesday at the Rincon Valley Mobile Estates in east Santa Rosa on Wednesday, July 24, 2013. (PD FILE, 2013)

A Santa Rosa man charged with strangling his wife of 38 years had a contentious relationship with her that was complicated by her longtime drug use, family members said Monday.

Dean “Sonny” Eliason Jr., 65, and Virginia Caetano, 64, had been physically violent with each other and once threw pots and pans at each other in front of a babysitter, said her brother, Tony Caetano of Santa Rosa.

“It was not a good relationship,” the brother said. “She was a pill popper.”

Santa Rosa Homicide Investigation


Eliason's sister, Mary Eliason of Redding, echoed the rocky nature of the marriage, saying Caetano's addiction was a source of tension.

Caetano overdosed on sleeping pills five or six years ago, Mary Eliason said, and she was taken to a hospital with symptoms of another overdose two days before she died.

But doctors released Caetano the same day, sending her home to Rincon Valley Mobile Estates, her sister-in-law said.

On Wednesday, Sonny Eliason called 911 dispatchers, saying he had strangled her, police said.

Officers arrived and found a radio cord wrapped around Caetano's neck.

A day earlier, Sonny Eliason spoke to his older sister by phone and gave no indication he was angry with his wife or planning to kill her, his sister said.

She guessed Eliason may be confused about what actually happened because he is taking prescription pills himself — or chronic depression, she said.

“I can't imagine he would be capable of that,” Mary Eliason said.

However, Caetano's brother said it appeared that Sonny Eliason did kill his wife. He said he was told he strangled her first with his hands and then choked her with the cord.

On Monday, Sonny Eliason appeared shackled and in a blue jail uniform in Sonoma County Superior Court. He pleaded not guilty to murder and felony spousal abuse.

He uttered a barely audible “yes” when his lawyer, Chief Deputy Public Defender Kristine Burk, asked if he was denying the allegations.

© The Press Democrat |  Terms of Service |  Privacy Policy |  Jobs With Us |  RSS |  Advertising |  Sonoma Media Investments |  Place an Ad
Switch to our Mobile View