Could this be our future?

As 2007 comes to an end, our crystal ball is starting clear and point to all the random possibilities that might lie ahead in the New Year.

From the new foodie trends and music to all the quirky bizarro events that make SoCo what it is, here go the Top 10 Predictions of 2008:

10. When going commando, shaving off your mane and auctioning off your kids just doesn’t cut it anymore: Britney Spears passes the torch in 2008, but keeps it all in the family.

Let it be: The Year of Jamie Lynn.

Fox 101.7 DJ Jeff Blazy sends up a raunchy cover of Stevie Ray Vaughan's “Look at Little Sister.” Sonoma County eats it up.

9. Following in the footsteps of Tsunami Bomb, The Velvet Teen and some band like Moby Grape, the local breakout band of 2008 is gonna be Phylloxera.

Never heard of ‘em? Either have we, but we’re sure someone will like the name so much they’ll start a punk band in the spirit of the great grape scourge. It’s gonna be huge large.

Otherwise, who can it be? Ryan Huston are you there? Still waiting tables at John Ash? OK, for reals, our money’s on the Pat Jordan Band. Come on people, get with the preacher. It’s all about “Hugs Not Drugs.”

8. The greening of Sonoma County will continue with cities across the county considering a plastic bag ban. And, as it seems the county can afford lots of six-figure salaries, they attempt luring Mr. Green Living himself, Al Gore, as consultant.

After a day of venture capital investing in Silicon Valley, a Prius ride up Highway 101 (alas, his son not at the wheel) and a tour of Sebastopol, he politely declines, claiming “this region is already about as crunchy as it gets.”

7. Highway 101 construction only gets worse. Seeking to appease the wrath of unruly commuters, Ghilotti Construction Company hires pole dancers (of all shapes and sexes) to entertain the gridlock, which slows traffic even more.

Finally, one night on a lunar eclipse (that would be Feb. 21) everybody parks their cars (just like that Michael Douglas movie “Falling Down” except no one gets shot) and it turns into a giant block party. Photos of a city council member swinging around a pole are splashed across the front page the next day.

6. With the mortgage meltdown looking even bleaker in the New Year, it’s gonna be the Year of the Yurt. Sales shoot through the (makeshift) roof.

Cue “The Jeffersons” theme: We're moving on up, to a deluxe canvas double-wide tent on the west side. Who needs a foundation when you have Mother Earth?

5. With the economy on the decline and home prices continuing their slide, who could blame us for wanting to drown our sorrows in some high class hooch in 2008?

Our prediction: $10+ cocktails will continue to be the drink of choice, but with a twist. Pomegranate, blueberry and citrus-infused drinks continue to surge as we convince ourselves we’re getting anti-oxidants and vitamins (healthy!) while tippling a little vodka. Need a personal affirmation with your cocktail? For a limited time, Cyrus is serving up the Meyer Beautiful--an ingratiating little concoction of lemons and vodka guaranteed to put a pucker on your pout.

4. Three cheers for Brussels sprouts, the rising darling of the local food scene. This former vegetable outcast is once again getting its due—both for its flavor and restorative powers. Loaded with vitamins, fiber and general goodliness, they’re the poster child for a resurgence in healthful, yet decadent, dining. But talk about a methane problem…

On the flip side, after a brief shining moment in the 2007 sun, all things bacon-related seem to be waning. Pork futures suddenly look a bit dim, though we’ll always have a soft (slightly plaque-filled) spot in our heart for pleasures porcine.

3. Horizon Air announces new non-stop service to the posh waterfront resort of Nice, as in Lake County. The annual algae bloom in Clear Lake – a colorful and pungent rite of passage for many locals – inspires a trendy new summer festival as foodies flock in droves. Suddenly the lowly Mustard, Tomato and Lavender festivals seem so yesterday.

2. A grassroots band of soccer moms and farmers sue the company that got paid $80,000 to come up with Santa Rosa’s new slogan – “California Cornucopia,” alleging that the artichoke in the logo amounts to false advertising.

But talks break down when no one can agree on what should replace it in the copious horn of local goodies. The Schulz family lobbies unsuccessfully for Charlie Brown, and then Snoopy, and then Woodstock, relaunching another maze of sidewalk statues.

Meanwhile, the same branding company wins the bid to rebrand the Sonoma County Fair: A Corndog Cornucopia.

1. Adam the Cat starts his own website, trying desperately to cash in, but fails to compete with the constant barrage of coverage at www.pressdemocrat.com.

Finally, he gives up and plies the lecture circuit, but to no avail.

When the movie rights are finally auctioned off, Garfield, Sylvester and Felix all turn up their noses. But that cool cat from the Paula Abdul video finally steps up and nabs the role. It tanks at the box office.

Last we hear, Adam is living out of a dumpster behind Red’s Recovery Room in Cotati.